With the holidays approaching, it’s likely you already have some family gatherings on your calendar — or if not, you know they’re inevitable. For many, the thought of going home for the holidays brings feelings of warmth and nostalgia. Yet if you’re in recovery, returning to family may raise concerns about how to stay sober throughout the festivities. After all, family gatherings can bring lots of anticipation, and for some, lots of stress, triggering situations, and fears of relapse.
The Challenge of Staying Sober During the Holidays
There are a number of factors that make it challenging to spend time with family during the holidays. According to StudyFinds.org, one in three adults dreads those awkward family conversations that often touch on sensitive topics like politics, finances, or relationships. BBC reports that strained family relationships, ongoing sibling rivalries, and cultural differences with in-laws can also create toxic environments. You may also be tempted to revert to old childhood tendencies when visiting family, even if they’re harmful or tied to past dysfunction.
These difficulties can lead to feelings of sadness, longing, pain, and resentment. When combined with the potential presence of alcohol or even drugs at your family’s festivities, enjoying sober holidays may feel nearly impossible. Thus, holiday gatherings can bring about triggers and scenarios that challenge your commitment to recovery. However, with preparation and the right coping skills, you can embrace sobriety this holiday season, even while participating in family traditions.
Holiday gatherings can bring about triggers and scenarios that challenge your commitment to recovery. However, with preparation and the right coping skills, you can embrace sobriety this holiday season, even while participating in family traditions.
8 Tips for Staying Sober at Family Gatherings
Though family gatherings present a unique set of challenges, taking steps to protect your recovery journey can help you stay grounded and still have meaningful experiences with your loved ones. However, learning to embrace sobriety doesn’t happen overnight, so it’s best to practice positive coping strategies year-round to prepare for challenging situations. Here are some key tips for learning how to stay sober at family gatherings this holiday season:
1. Create a Sober Holidays Plan in Advance
If you’re trying to navigate an upcoming challenge, you need to have a roadmap; otherwise, it’s easy to get offtrack. That’s why it’s best to develop an intentional sober holidays plan. This can help limit stress and risky exposures. Harvard Health Publishing suggests that prioritizing sobriety may require setting boundaries, even if it means stepping on a few toes. Discuss potential conflicts with your sponsor, counselor, or sober network for a fresh perspective on how you can plan to address these difficulties in a way that prioritizes your recovery no matter what.
2. Set and Maintain Boundaries
Setting and maintaining boundaries during recovery is a critical component of your sobriety especially when you’re trying to figure out how to stay sober at family gatherings this holiday season. Establishing clear limits — like politely refusing drinks or planning to leave early — supports positive coping when conflicts arise. Mental Health America highlights that boundaries help build a strong foundation for long-term sobriety, allowing you to fully be there for your family in the future.
Establishing clear limits — like politely refusing drinks or planning to leave early — supports positive coping when conflicts arise.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
While others may wind down routines over the holidays, it’s best to do just the opposite and prioritize self-care during this potentially stressful time. Squeeze in some extra meetings with your support group or therapist, maintain your meditation schedule, and increase your exercise regimen. Be sure you’re getting enough sleep and proper nutrition as well. The holidays can be a particularly challenging time of year, so self-care can help you maintain well-being throughout the season.
4. Be Mindful of Your Family Time
Just because the rest of your family is staying in the same house all week doesn’t mean you have to. Decide in advance how much time you want to spend with relatives this holiday season and stick to it. It’s OK to limit your activities with mentally taxing or heavy-drinking family members to protect your sobriety. If you reach a point where you feel worn out or frustrated, consider making a graceful exit from the festivities. In some cases, skipping a gathering altogether may be necessary for self-care.
5. Communicate With Supportive Loved Ones
If you have family members who can support your recovery, consider communicating your plan to embrace sobriety with them ahead of time. After all, having loved ones in your corner can help combat loneliness and keep you on track with your sobriety goals. Alcohol Research: Current Reviews suggests that families play a key role in providing support for change and long-term recovery in those with alcohol use disorder. And with insight into your recovery journey, family members can be more thoughtful in planning trigger-safe activities.
6. Keep Your Recovery Network Handy
It’s likely that challenges and temptations will arise as you work on staying sober during the holidays. That’s why it’s important to have your sponsor or sober friends on speed dial when they do. If you’re traveling, research virtual or local support group meetings you can attend while away. Even better, consider inviting a sober friend to your gatherings to help provide onsite support and good accountability.
7. Start New Sober Traditions
Sure, the spiced rum punch bowl may be a dinner table staple, but you don’t have to stick to traditions that may be triggering. Instead, let this year’s family gathering help launch some new sober traditions. Whether you opt to host a game night, volunteer with a nonprofit, participate in a fun run, or simply use nonalcoholic punch in the recipe, you’ll create new memories and traditions together that will simultaneously foster a supportive environment for your recovery.
8. Practice Gratitude and Self-Reflection
While the holidays and family gatherings may be tough, they also provide an excellent opportunity for personal reflection. Make time to look back on all the progress you’ve made in your recovery and consider keeping a gratitude journal to remind yourself of life’s blessings, including family (shortcomings aside). These practices can help you maintain a healthy perspective as you approach family festivities, and your positive mindset may even inspire other family members to seek help too.
Not Sure How to Stay Sober in Recovery? Onward Can Help
With these tips for staying sober in your recovery toolbox, you’ll be better prepared to navigate family gatherings this holiday season. But if you’re struggling with how to stay sober after treatment — whether at family events or otherwise — Onward is here for you. Offering community, accountability, empowerment, and a dedicated support team, we’re committed to supporting your lasting recovery. To learn more, contact our team today.